i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
