This girl is more easily done than said...
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
