you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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