Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
