I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Randomize
