I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
