He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
