You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
