"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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