my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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