so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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