i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I just want nice things and good sex
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
