Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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