the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
This is classic penis vs brain.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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