so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Randomize
