I never want to see another naked old woman again.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
