I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Gay?
German.
Pity.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
