if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
