So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
