somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Randomize
