I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
