So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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