He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize