did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Shame - the story of my life.
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