At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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