She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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