We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
