thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
