the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize
