Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
