there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
What a dumb baby whore.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Randomize
