I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Two words: blizzard sex
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
