You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
