Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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