i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
