Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
