and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
