if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
