Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I think a kid would responsible me up
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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