just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
