I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
two words...techno handjob
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Randomize
