I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
