that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
