woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
