There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
