We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
