My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
ttyl tear gas
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
