its not stalking. its research.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
