May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
