There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
