i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
