Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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