He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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