Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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