I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
