I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Randomize