There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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