just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
