smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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