Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You dont lie about slip and slides
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
