He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
how does that bad decision feel?
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