I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
