Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
