I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Ketchup is God's man juice
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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