Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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