Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
