you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
