so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
