As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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