Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
