Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
