if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
