i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
