I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
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