in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
