I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
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