I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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