Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
