At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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