He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
