why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize