I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize